My Ruin

If you were going to wreck me,

you should’ve finished the job.

Left me in flames,

not just smoldering with your fingerprints.

You touched me like you owned me

and left me like a receipt you didn’t want to claim.

You had me —

honest, trembling,

the whole trembling cathedral of me

laid bare at your altar.

And you pissed on the pews.

Don’t you dare call that love.

You said I was too much —

too loud, too soft, too everything.

But really,

I was just too alive

for someone who only ever offered half a pulse.

You wanted a girl who would stay

after the bruises.

Smile through the gaslight.

Beg with grace.

You wanted obedience, not love.

A mirror, not a woman.

A grave to bury your guilt in.

Well.

I hope you rot

in every poem I write

with your name scrawled beneath the venom.

I hope every girl after me

smells the smoke

and runs.